Yes TX please elaborate. I've kept the path clear, but she hasn't gotten rid of ow. The latest thing she said: "I'm giving this some serious thought." And "do you know I'm a mess?" I didn't respond to that email.
What am I supposed to say? I don't just want to become her friend. I can't get her out of this mess she's made for herself. The road is clear except for the speed bump called ow. I'd run right over her, but W won't make her go away.
All you have to do is communicate what the path back to you looks like. If she's still with OW then there is no path. When my WW decided I was the one she wanted then at first I said, hell no, go away and let me be, but re-thought it, and then a friend told me I had to show her the path back. The path back might look different for all of us. It's every little step, in order, of what they have to do if they want back in your life. Think about it and write it out. Don't leave anything off. If you don't show them a path back then they'll give up and truly be gone for good. In that path back to you, don't be a doormat.
The very first step on that path. No more AP's. If our cheaters can't get past that one then there's no point in the rest of the path. NYGal, what does the path back to you look like? Does that path exist yet? It's ok if it doesn't. Still, if you ever R with her in the future then there has to be a path toward that.
