Red, I think you are going for the long haul. It is absurd and confusing, but what he has in his mind may be all a bunch of anger on himself. Issues not confronted for a long time and now it all explodes inside of him.
Who would be the best one to blow up on? YOU. Yes, you are the easy target, you are there to listen to all his stupidities. So do not bother yourself as much. I know it hurts, but we all know it is hurting him more.
Deep inside he cares about you, but right now he needs to blame someone else for his turmoil and you are the one he can blame. So, he is angry at you when he knows he is angrier at himself.
Rearrange the closet, rearrange the room even. Make it yours. Do you have pink or girlish sheets? Put it there. Make it comfortable for you, the girl.
It is a message without words. Go around the house and get the kids pictures up. It won't offend him because they are his kids, but it will remind him that you accept his choice of leaving.
Believe me, it does not stop there. You will need a lot of strength to handle it all.
About the calls and texts I have a different opinion. I don't think it is productive to ignore him totally. As you are doing, he knows you are pissed and he knows what he needs to do to get to you.
Think about a 180 that he does not know. For example. If you get a text, don't just ignore it. Give sometime and then answer him with some fun. There is anything fun you guys had when you were at the start of your R. Bring it up in a very small scale.
Like a smiley face, or a tiny quote w/a little cat, bird, dog. Make it fun. Remind him how it was in a very discrete way.
If he calls, you may not answer him. Once you decide to answer, be prepare to not let him talk first. Start telling him about something silly like: Oh! H, you won't believe but our S was eating ice cream and asked for a 2nd one, I couldn't believe this kid can eat so much! HAhahaha!.
Or maybe something else that is fun. Don't go to "about us" subject. I mention the kids because it is for both of you to have fun. It is also a reminder of the family you built together.
No straight words, just a general thing, talk, to make things less heavy. To remind him that life can be fun as a family.
And, he may start thinking about what he is missing.
It won't be resolved in a day or two sweetie. But it is a process. If you are crunching in a corner, it does not matter how much GAL you want to show him, because he is reading you, and your actions are showing it all different.
You do not need to prove you don't care, because he knows you do. Show him you can be fun, spontaneous, charismatic, a wonderful mom. And expect him flipping even more. Be prepare for when he wants to bite your head off.
Do yourself a favor and get yourself out of the anger. You will look better if you are not angry.
Pink
Last edited by Cadet; 02/10/1601:15 PM. Reason: start a new thread message
