Thank you so much for your response. You are very wise and I value your opinion.
I agree that his crisis isn't over yet. I believe it started at least two years before bomb drop so we are at year 5. I was just hoping to outlast him, and that he would come through this. One problem with detaching is that we work together in the same building...luckily on opposite sides, so I can usually manage to avoid him.
My friends and family have said that I have been too patient and understanding so far and are pushing me to "cut the anchor." That is one reason I posted here because I've seen how DBing works and patience is a must. My H is conflict avoidant and does not like to share his feelings. He refused to go to any type of IC or MC. This was a big problem for us, I think. I did go to IC for two years and am back there now.
When H filed last year, I did a pretty good job of letting go and moving forward...having no idea that he would come back. In fact, this is what he said that he noticed...that I was moving forward without him. This time, he seems determined to not let that happen again. He has asked to shorten the waiting period for the divorce.
I need to get back to detaching and not letting his actions and emotions affect me so much. I've lost weight again and that elephant is back sitting on my chest. I feel like it is deja vu all over again since I just felt the same way one year ago.
And you're right, Job, I need to make this about ME and D17. She only has a couple months left in high school. My mom keeps reminding me of this too.
Nel
Me: 51 H:50 M: 28 years T: 31 years 4 Ds: 24, 22, 19, 17 BD Jan 2013 D filed Feb 2015 Papers pulled Aug 2015 D re-filed Jan 2016
Me: 51 H:50 M: 28 years T: 31 years 4 Ds: 24, 22, 19, 17 BD Jan 2013 D filed Feb 2015 Papers pulled Aug 2015 D re-filed Jan 2016
