YOU did not break your wife and YOU can not FIX this or her.
You are blaming yourself for HER feelings. You have NO control over her feelings. You can only accept them for what they are.
YOU can look in the mirror and see what there is about yourself that needs to be changed. You make those changes for YOU, not to win her back.
You make yourself into a person only a fool would leave. Then if she is a fool, you can not help that.
I am glad you are a little passed rock bottom. Slowly you will climb out from this point forward. It will not be straight up and you may have some set backs along the way. However YOU can make this climb!
Make some small goals right now and work on carrying them out. Remember the goals are for YOU!