Long time

[Nel]

I've been a lurker here for two and a half years now. I've read everything link and story I could, especially about MLC, but I'm now at a loss as what to do. So I'm asking for your help.

BD was three years ago on our 25th anniversary. H said he wasn't happy. For the next two years, he was angry, irritable, spewing, deep in his MLC. He had an EA with a co-worker. I realize that I wasn't fulfilling his emotional needs because I was too busy being a mother. I had neglected my husband. I owned up to this,hoping it wasn't too late, but he was so ANGRY! I was able understand (because of what I was reading) what he was going through and deflect a lot of the hurtful things he said. At this point, we were still living together.

February 2015 he filed for divorce...this just after I had gone through radiation for breast cancer. I was devastated. I moved out of our marital home with my youngest daughter to my parents, and went dark. One month later he contacted me saying he missed me so much and that he had made such a mess of things. He said his anger was gone. I questioned how and if it was because his grandma had just died. He said no. We did lots of things together throughout the summer, but still lived separately. I had bought a small house because we were selling our marital home. He pulled the divorce papers two days before the court date in August 2015.

He kept saying he was going to move in with me, but never did. In November, he started to get angry again and things have gone downhill from there. He told me that he still wasn't happy. He re-filed for divorce in mid-January 2016. I am crushed AGAIN.

Our marital home finally sold at the end of January, and he has since bought a small house in another town and we've split everything up. I went dark again, but it feels like it is truly done this time. I don't know what to do. I love my husband and have been with this man for more than 30 years. It's so hard to watch him walk away from all that we had together. I know I can't fix him, but it is so hard to let him go.

Me: 51 H:50
4 Ds: 24, 22, 19, 17
BD Jan 2013
D filed Feb 2015
Papers pulled Aug 2015
D re-filed Jan 2016