You've been seeing replay for quite some time. The wishy washy decisions, the talk about divorce, etc., are all thoughts that occur in replay.

You've handled your situation thus far very well. Try to keep the focus on you and your children because your wife is going to be like a ping pong ball bouncing off the walls emotionally for quite a while.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.