New night(s)

[25yearsmlc]

I'm not even done catching up on your thread but just wanted to say that you're so actively working here - I commend you. Truly, I do.

Thanks Trumpet. Hope you're well.
My H keeps saying how insulting it is that I GAL and act like everything is fine. I tried to validate by saying that I know everything isn't 'fine' with us.

What a sad spin he's putting on the fact that you're CHOOSING to TRY and be happy, despite things not being fine...

Makes me wonder if he'd prefer you to be (or at least ACT) miserable? IF so, is it so he won't feel alone, or b/c he feels somehow "less than", in the relationship?

And forgive me if I've overlooked your answer to a question I keep asking, but something tells me there's a real problem IN HIM that he may not admit, (or know he has) with you being the bread winner.

Can you tell is if the "Plan" was always this way or that he'd make more later or did your career simply surprise you with it's pay? I mean, if this WAS the plan, (ie he wouldn't earn much but you would, what changed in HIM or You or both?


I DO feel better when I put the best construction on things, focus on growth and gratitude.

^^ I see this as counting your blessings, having a good attitude and being grateful. Please don't stop this process, as I am convinced it's healthy AND it's God's will. I mean, I'm not expert but this^^ just sounds intuitively and spiritually "Right"...

and his behavior or spin, not so much.

He didn't like it but he pivoted to something else to aim at.
Things have been a little less hostile. Still sniping, still 'testing' me. Dunno.


I still haven't written out that pro/con of stay or go. When I started to, a lot of it sounded more like just excuses to stay.

Interesting. I think it can appear empty at first...but if you do it somewhat often (monthly/weekly??) there might be a day or hour or middle of the night moment of clarity, in which you just know.

A moment in which you say "I CHOOSE TO --- LEAVE -- or TO STAY
but whatever that moment is,

I hope it's teamed up with the words "and be loving & happy with my choice."

Which may have been her point. But none of them are 'deal breaking' excuses... so it seemed like an empty exercise if that's all there is to it. Who knows.

((( )))