Letting go, finally

[JGuy]

JGuy, I sympathize with your concern for how to deal with a situation where you want emotional connection with your wife but she doesn't seem to ever provide what it is that you need.

I unfortunately don't have any answers for you, but I'm learning that in many ways I handled everything wrong with regards to this issue during my entire life.

Apparently I've been a complete codependent and only ever sought emotion from someone for emotion in return. And, apparently this is not the correct and/or healthy way to go about a relationship.

You love. Its as simple as that. And you get love in return if you're lucky and/or chosen to give your love to someone who loves you back. Even if my WW ever decides she wants to work on reconciliation, I know that there will be a big issue of working back into our relationship to where I get the love and emotional connection I know that I want and need without having to sacrifice my own self to get it.

Just know that you are worth being loved, and learn what you can about yourself to develop as many healthy behaviors as you can going forward.

That's all I got. I'm sure someone will come along behind me and explain how completely wrong I am, but that's my very simplistic understanding of where things are for me in my sitch.

Good luck bro.

Thanks, bfice3. This is pretty simple advice but I think you're absolutely right. While there's something harsh about the reality of how alone I must be, it also makes sense that I cannot fully come of age and become a man without first working my way through this awkward stage of learning how to let go and be OK with aloneness.