I am not a good Dber because I've never had to DB. Rather simple really. I never had a chance with Mr Ex. All my DBing has been towards myself and that seems like a crazy notion but all the same true. I guess my approach to being here is that I am good at waving the flag, I am good support. I add a piece here or there when I see someone struggling. But I don't have the courage or bravery it takes to really help someone through this. I don't have the courage to call someone out on their stuff. Stuff I can see getting in the way. I am coward Julie. I have been with you.
So I am soooooo happy that you have Zues. And now you have found Swiggy.
You have all the bases covered now to DB the sh*t out of this sitch.
I feel like Squiggy will now support you through the more therapuetic steps of this journey with H. I am glad. My gut tells me you are ready.
You are incredibly responsive to men with high emotional intelligence and firm logical arguments Julie. that has been apparent for a long time. You are incredibly open to what they provide you. It seems to me that the way they engage you makes you so open to seeing things differently. It's a quality you are literally begging your H to have everytime you interact with him.
I wonder what it is about H and being in relationship to him that stops your from being so open. Sure there is the intimate nature of the relationship and we always struggle for asking for what we need from someone we are emotionally invested in. But there is something else here for what my opinion is worth.
What is the Zues and Squiggy do that opens you up, that makes you open to being critiqued, that allows you to express yourself with little to no anger. That allows you to communicate from a place I feel, rather than I think. Is it because they lead and you are happy to follow or is it something else they do that makes you feel safe.
You have referenced logical thinking and robust discussion as being innately something you need. Is this what they provide you.
To note: I think H has the ability to meet this need. And I don't think he is having an affair either. I hope to be proven right.
Julie, I don't have the eloquancy or intellectual nouse to describe what either of these two gorgeous men Zues and Squiggy can. But listen to what they have to say. I have not missed a post on your threads in the last couple of months. There is nothing that either Zues or now Squiggy have said to you in the last 24-48 hours that I haven't been thinking and feeling about your sitch.
You are getting so close to where you need to be. And frankly I know it scares the bejeezes out of you.
There is also something I do know, you being emotionally vulnerable is going to change everything.
As I always say just because I don't post doesn't mean I don't care or not supporting you. I just think other's are giving you everything you need.
