When the goal is positivity

[JulieH]

It is not easy to separate the terms and conditions of a D from your efforts to reconcile. For the sake of reconciliation, you will have to.

i know. The two are such extremes, I don't understand this at all! From what I understand he wants to explore both? It's interesting. When I explained the situation to husband as "just like you don't like the financial aspect of this, I don't like the physical loss of the kids. But that's the downside of divorce. This is the outcome and losses. You lose money I lose kids.m It kind of broke him out of the spewing. He said he didn't like losing time with kids either

I can tell you that it was my inability to do so that was a big hindrance in my reconciliation, among other things. He wasn't a saint though and he took advantage of me. But it was my inability to compartmentalise and to let go of the anger that disadvantaged me. Because I was so angry and hurt, I had a few missteps and couldn't see the whole situation clearly.

i am not familiar with your situation. What happened? Did courts not treat you fairly? Did you agree to things that you wish you did not? I have been very cautious regarding what I say to husband. I have no knowledge of affair though and could totally understand how that emotional aspect would make anyone have missteps. Even without knowledge of affair I run these little soliloquies in my mind that would do justice to a Disney villainess.

Julie, at a certain point in time, you need to let go of the fear and anger, or at least compartmemtalise them, so that you can do the best for yourself and kids.

Thank you This has Definatly been my plight.