What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

I did it. My goal was to get through the last two weeks without any drama, without hearing H's speech and without hearing the D word. H leaves tomorrow and I would describe this trip home as a good one -- the first good one in a long time ... actually since BD. I don't know if assistant's presence made a difference in how he interacted with me or not, but I have to think that he will leave here with more positive thoughts about "us" than negative ones.

Tonight we were discussing the family members he stays with when he's here. He was talking about the family dynamics and talked about the anger and difficulties between the couple. He said he felt like he was walking on eggshells when he was there.

Then he said he now understood what I went through with him and apologized. He said he knows just how hard it was for me to deal with him and he was sorry.

I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to say that it was difficult and I didn't want to say, "No problem," so I just listened and let him speak. I mean, you don't really want to validate that they were being a total, insensitive jerk, do you? And you sure don't want to say it was no big deal!

We also talked about "living to work" vs "working to live" and he said he had been living to work ... that the business became his whole life ... and that he intended to change that. Music to my ears!

One of the things that I've noticed with H is that he did hear (through all that fog) what I said and gave serious consideration to my words. My advice is to be careful what you say because they are listening! I don't know how that will play out in my case. I just wanted to point out that they do hear you, so choose your words carefully. I hope H will be able to forgive some of my more nasty truth darts, but only time will tell.

In the meantime, my life goes on. I'm in a good place and love it here. I'm okay!