Hi Inpain It's frustrating I know. Everyone suggesting you to GAL, Go dim, go dark, set up boundaries. Do 180's, DB'ing, move on, disconnect.. etc etc etc.
how can you do this while you are still grieving and confused. Not everyone can just put on a straight face and move on. We are all different.
What helped me is understanding my W's illness. I read everything I could on MLC and she still makes me bang my head on the wall trying to make sense of it all. What you need to read up is what you the LBS is going through.
Until you get through the stages of the left behind spouse, GAL is hard and setting boundaries are even harder to put in place because of the fear of upsetting H.
I read a link here on the stages of the LBS , I believe that Cadet started this discussion and its many LBS'rs talking about the stages they went through. Shock, begging, anger, withdrawal, anger again, acceptance and even forgiveness.
Some of the links in here don't work but you'll get that idea of what you are going through. Page 2 has a pretty good break down.
I'm sure there are other links maybe a bit more complete. Hopefully one of the vets can share them with you.
continue to educate yourself. I'm not saying you will feel sorry for your H because he is suffering inside and hes a broken version of himself. Its a constant battle for him. Nothing you can do to snap him out of it. Accept your own stages as they come.. the rest will follow as you get stronger to be able to deal with your MLC'r.
hugs
Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
