Don't feel too hard on yourself. You are putting up with a lot more than I did. Can I give you few suggestions, I'm not saying that I'm right, maybe it can help.
Does H need to be in house in the morning so early, couldn't he come when you are about to leave? Since my STBXH has gone I'm no longer stress in the morning and kids are happier.
For the evening, could you pick up kids from where he is staying or agree with him to not stay too long?
I know it's hard, I have been there. Since I drop kids to their dad, I'm starting to feel better and don't resent him anymore when I have to see him!
