First call at 11:30 am and says that she really just wanted a break and space from me. She says she does not want to go through with the D but does not know how to stop it at this point. She is worried for the boys since their behavior is going the opposite direction. She was concerned about us because of the NC on Sunday. She asked again who was watching the boys and I told her the name of the friend of ours and she was like "oh, why didn't you say that in the first place"? She asked why I did not want to speak with her and I told her I was not in a good place at the time.
W calls a second time and says that she wants to reconcile and is willing to go to MC both here in Michigan and Toronto.
She stated she has seen change in me. I listen more and hear her.
She says she has 4 things she would like to see changed.
1. Quit Smoking.
Told W that I would like her to be supportive instead of getting upset. She said she understood and agreed we would find a way to support.
2. Proof that job transfer is coming.
Told her that I was committed to moving as I have stated earlier but cannot control the time frame. She said she understood and would like us to move as a family in to the new house being built.
3. Address issues face to face with her instead of running away.
She felt like I would stay at work to avoid issues or go off and do errands so that we would not discuss the R problems. I validated and said that I understood her point of view on this.
4. Make time for her and I and have work life balance. She felt last three years I was off working and did not make time for family and her. I travelled and she was alone with no support the first year and then things increased in responsibility as we added to the family.
I also stated that I need to see actions from her in order to move forward with this. She agreed that she would come back once she knew that we have a transfer date for work.
She asked how we can stop D and we agreed that we send email to Ls at the same time when she comes this week to pick up the boys for visit.
I have other things to address with her such as the EAs with OMs and getting her to commit to a date she will come back.
I don't feel excited about this at all. I am very skeptical that this is potentially manipulation tactics.
I plan on suggesting we put something in writing if this goes south and she and I cannot rebuild the R so we can go our separate ways.
Moving forward with a little hope and a lot of caution.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
