Thanks G8r :-) I sleep in a bed not the couch. The disruption of sleep is due to mode. When I was in depression, we had gone for vacation to ease the issue. It probably was an imbalance or whatever. No major issues I was facing. Worry about the future and way of thinking. You carry your head with you. It doesn't go away.
She even yesterday said if you want me to go to the other bed I can. And I still use the bedroom and in the house keep my door open to be available/to be able to hear.
I woke everybody up, cleared up the kitchen, ironed the girls clothes while she did the pancakes. I came down took over. Helped the kids. We all got in to the car and did the school run. Last I heard from her was a "Have a good day" and she went into the underground station. I didn't text her. I tried to work.
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
I have to go home and face my wife. Today I can't have a relationship talk. I'm just tired. I told that I would not be leaving the house and asked her to stopped contact with OM. I am used to being ignored at home.
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
She asked if I had changed my mind again. Because yesterday I said I wouldnt leave and that she should send a no contact message with me seeing it. She said yes she would do that. I asked for proof. For her to do it in front of me. She asked me to trust her. Should I? But still she wants me out. She quickly again tried to get me out for 2 months. She said it would unstabilize her and the kids. I said you are calling it and putting the blane on me. I am ok to be in a seperate room and came late to avoid interaction. Too much negotiation.
What should I do? I suggested counselling. Should I move out if counselling says so. She accused me of keeping on changing my mind. I am merely trying save the marriage. She said she is doing the same.
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
I would never trust a WAW. I learned the hard way with my ex-wife. I played nice because she made it seem like we were going to work things out, she asked me to trust her. She cleaned me out.
Never again.
You can certainly be cordial and fair but do not trust her when she plays nice and asks you to move out. I would definately consult with a lawyer to find out what the ramifications are.
Now she says if I can work from our Amsterdam office for 2 months. I said I could say there for on off a week m. She is again putting blame on me if she moves out how hard it would be.
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
She asked if I had changed my mind again. Because yesterday I said I wouldnt leave and that she should send a no contact message with me seeing it. She said yes she would do that. I asked for proof. For her to do it in front of me. She asked me to trust her. Should I? But still she wants me out. She quickly again tried to get me out for 2 months. She said it would unstabilize her and the kids. I said you are calling it and putting the blane on me. I am ok to be in a seperate room and came late to avoid interaction. Too much negotiation.
I don't understand. She has not admitted anything and she has asked you to move out, and you tell her write a NC letter to OM and she says to trust her. Are you leaving something out? Did she agree to a NC letter, or is she saying you should trust her not to be in an affair?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
