Anyway, I'm not sure if it was the phone thing from the day before or what but all I kept thinking while he was here was about what Anna said. How it's been 4 years and the phone trigger hasn't gone away. And I kept asking myself if I can do this forever. And I kept answering myself that I can't.
Aww...I didn't mean to put bad thoughts in your head, Rain. Maybe it will be different for you. Especially if you are able to regain some semblance of a trusting relationship in time. I have never been able to do that.
MB, I don't care actually which is why I brought it up the first time. However the advice I got here was to leave it be. Because he was/is against it and if it meant he would see the kids less then was it worth it.
Basically would it bring me closer or further from my goal. And he's ticking me off too MB. Believe me. FYI..I went dim and he panicked. Reminds me of NYGal and W the other night . I dimmed by falling asleep LOL and he couldn't get in contact with me for an hour and 16 minutes from his first call.
So it works. I'm just exhausted in all ways. Mostly emotionally.
I have to write to Zues and try and get the focus on me. Me, me, me!
Aww...I didn't mean to put bad thoughts in your head, Rain. Maybe it will be different for you. Especially if you are able to regain some semblance of a trusting relationship in time. I have never been able to do that.
Anna, please don't feel bad. You were honest and it scared me. I really thought (hoped) that eventually all triggers fall away after time. Not so sure anymore. Yikes!
The other night when we were discussing when and where he would be looking for his new place he for some reason became dejected and said he wants to write a will and put it in a safe deposit box in my name to make sure that I am in charge of his funeral.
We went back and forth a bit because I don't like that kind of talk. However I didn't give it too much time. Just reminded him that he has children and that whatever happens it better be by God's hand and not his own, but that yes, I would do as he asked.
Then he went silent for a minute and said "who knows what the future holds for us." Whatever that means. Six months ago I would have been excited about that.
Hi Rain! Glad to see you're on here. Been wanting to talk to you. But, before you respond, stop and think about it. That always helps.
I should have read this sooner. I had no idea it was this easy!
Originally Posted By: Rain75
I dimmed by falling asleep LOL and he couldn't get in contact with me for an hour and 16 minutes from his first call. . I have to write to Zues and try and get the focus on me. Me, me, me!
OMG! That's all it takes to go dim? An hour and 16 minutes? Holy crap, what have I been doing? I've gone beyond dim, dark, blackout, and total extinction by being in almost constant NC for over 4 months. LOL!!!
And, hey, if you're writing to Zeus, tell him that I wrote an entire book for him on my thread. Was hoping for some words of wisdom.
And, btw Rain, I haven't chatted with Zeus, but I have been chatting with NYGal. We were hoping you'd join us.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Rain you seem on the right track with him. Just keep doing what you are doing with no expectation. I can see why it's a slow process and I feel like you are heading in the right direction.
MB..did you get FB? Am I the only human left without it?! If not how are you two chatting? I feel left out and we all know I don't do well with that. Ask XF and ow! LOL
And Zues will get back to you. He always does. He's good about that.
And I said dim because as NYG pointed out about herself and W, I think we may also be co-depenent. Gasp! So an hour to him is an eternity. Or not. Who really knows.
And your so funny "total extinction" lol
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Rain you seem on the right track with him. Just keep doing what you are doing with no expectation. I can see why it's a slow process and I feel like you are heading in the right direction.
Keep your chin up and carry on working on you :-)
Thanks Rouky...I just told him I am thinking about deleting the app. That talk didn't go well. But I am going to try my best to not let his crazy continue to affect me the way that it does.
No, you're not the only one. I don't have Facebook either. I would tell you if I got one. What fun would that be if I didn't have my GAL friends on there with me?
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
. I dimmed by falling asleep LOL and he couldn't get in contact with me for an hour and 16 minutes from his first call.