1st time - Do I detach or keep showing her my best

[Squiggy]

Hope sandi doesn't get mad at me for replying to this...

I am choosing to fight for my M until she says she absolutely is done.

Change to "I am choosing to fight for my M until I say I am absolutely done.

I think possibly she's starting to see all the damage she has caused.

Mindreading. Stop it. My W, even after 6 months in Piecing, is still learning how far the damage reached.

I just wish I had a specific road map of things I need to do. What are things that will help and what are things that push her away? I hate being a mind reader. Does backing off mean not doing the daily nice things I do like make her lunch or get her water bottle ready, start her car. Tell her to go take a bath while I get the kids to bed? I know she appreciates that stuff and she says it. But is it hurting my cause?

You have the map. We keep showing it to you. The book shows it to you.

Is backing off a 180? Is making her lunch or getting a water bottle a 180? Are any of those things you listed 180s? Are they what you've always done? Or are they attempts to garner her favor?