The begining of the rest of my new life? (3)

[Ripe]

Since two posts ago, the question I asked there has been dancing around my mind: “Am I being a man happily separated and well adjusted, but a man still living in the fantasy that my W is going to come back?”
Am I living an illusion that I can have my M back when that is not going to happen? Have I been deceiving myself?
Am I even still practicing DB’ing?
Let’s see.
I enjoy certain aspects of the separation.
I have time for myself and I look forward for the weekends I don’t have the kids. But I also feel guilty about it.
I can take care of myself without anyone’s help: I cook, wash I the dishes and do the laundry. I found that I like to iron: I listen to music in the meantime and enjoy the final result of that pile of clothes in proper order.
I have time for my MOOC.
I meditate. I read.
So, what have I accomplished so far?
- I shave every day and put cologne for the first time in my life;
- I buy my own clothes for the first time and I am trying to dress smart. I have gone to a tailor;
- I started playing classical guitar after a 20 years’ stop;
- I keep going to therapy with an IC. It has been a wonderful experience of self-discovery.
- I meditate regularly, although not daily, after having taken part on an online course.
- I take my kids on long trips abroad without feeling guilt or empty because W is not coming.
- I am enrolled on my third mooc.
- I am enrolled on a year-long online program of self-development;
- I exercise regularly at home, since I don´t have time to go to a gym. My six pack starts to show.
- I read self-help books;
- I read almost daily DB Forum, which is my main source of inspiration.
- I have invited a lady for lunch twice.

How much of this is actually DB’ing?
I don’t know. I don’t see any improvements in my relationship with STBXW.
In the end, is DB’ing just a self-improvement program?