Ok... I know I just made a long post but I'm not sure if I'm clear where I am at. Am I at the, I know what I want, ask for what I want stage? Do I set some goals? Or am doing the 180? Or both?
I was told earlier to set goals for myself, but the book makes it sounds like you set small goals for your spouse that are measurable and watch for progress.
I would love for her to write me some kind of letter... put some thoughts on paper... apology, feelings, doubts, concerns, hopes, dreams... anything.. I just want her to think about those things.
I would love for her to reengage in our family life, instead of being so detached.
Those would be a couple big things. Can I ask for those? Or should I be doing a 180 and backing way off for a while.
My counselor seems to think just giving her time and space will help her. But he also says it's a delicate balance where she still needs to know I love her. Seems simple enough. ugh.
So if she is saying postive things... Saying she wants our marriage... but nothing real specific... can I ask something of her? I would love to do some bonding activities but she might not be ready. Can I express that to her... Hey, I love what you are doing and that is enough for now, but when you are ready I would like to try some things to get us closer? IDK what to do.
Number 1 thing I know I need to do is relax and focus on me... I get that. I am trying. But is that enough for now? I hate that I feel like I'm playing a game. I love my wife. I would do anything for her. Why does it have to be so complicated? Ugh.
