Your H does the same thing my H does - puts the cart before the horse and turns the blame around. *HE* could have supported his children voluntarily... Why should it be on you to give him an ultimatum, threatening legal action? Is he saying he has to be threatened to do the right thing? Sounds like he's venting his anger over being forced to do something he didn't want to do, and making it your fault that he financially deserted his family.
This gives me pause. I'm not sure that taking unilateral legal action, threatening to do so, or dropping ultimatums is a constructive response. If Julie does this, even if she's right to protect her children's needs, she's wrong in how she handles the approach.
There's a lot of info in this thread about the interaction between Julie and her H, so just wanted to clarify that my statements above were in response to her posting this:
"I have admitted to him multiple times that I should have told him before taking him to court. I did agree with that. He said that I could have said to him "give me the 17% or I will take you to court" and he would have given in. I admitted that would have worked better. But at the time I felt unable to confront him."
So I think we agree?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
