"Miss her and don't know how long I can keep going without giving in and being her best friend, let her have her cake. Only the risk of losing S's respect stopping me."
I understand how you feel here and I think this is about accepting the loss of the old M and grieving for it. If you 'give in' and enter 'best friend' zone - I think you endorse her view that 'this was best for everyone - look we're all great with this.' I don't imagine that's what you want. Her complaining to you that OM is being a bit mean etc. H started doing this to me and I drew a firm line under 'friend and confidante.' Realised that was a role I didn't want to play.
Please let your own respect for yourself govern your actions here (tho I'm sure S's view helps things along.) It sounds like you are doing well with GAL - good for you. Please pour your heart and soul into your own lives and keep moving solidly forward. I think this may bring a better chance of your W turning back than you being a BF and 'supporting' her destructive choice. But - she isn't the focus here - you are and if she doesn't have second thoughts, you will have built a rich new life anyway.
You're doing so well - you've got this my friend :)x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
