Having a thought/ realization that is small but gives me hope for the future.
After Bday, I can't remember how long after, I decided that to make myself more attractive to W I would grow and maintain a goatee. I have always been clean shaven and times when I did let it grow out a bit she liked it. So I did just that. And it was met with positivity. She told me it looked good and it wasn't fair. That made me feel good. I kept it for months.
Last weekend I decided I would shave it off. I was tired of Maintaining it etc. also thought hey I might get a comment from W. Not sure why I wanted it but I did. Anyway. She never said a word... But also. Not one of my kids said a word, not any friends. No one noticed at all. and that is fine.
Then I realized. I liked it. It started out as something for W. I look at myself and think. I liked that, time to grow it again. Makes me feel better.
This realization showed me that changes no matter how small that may have started because of S do become something for you. The bigger te change te longer I suppose. But it makes me happy to feel like te changes I have made if they aren't for me already will be soon enough. Just don't give up on them or you may miss who you have become
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
