A new way of thinking 3, along with a new life

[Painter]

This whole thing has moved so quickly my mind is still spinning! I feel like I'm coming to terms with it, reluctantly. I do know that I'd rather be on my own, if the alternative is being with this new version who shrinks away from me if I get too close, who regularly attacks me with words, and who demeans me every chance he gets.

I'm so tired of hearing that I'm the reason his life didn't work out the way he hoped. That being married to me is the reason he didn't achieve all his goals - that I ruined his life. That is typical MLC talk - but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I hope one day he's able to see all the good I brought into his life...and I brought a lot. Right now? He sees none of it, only the bad. He's got a scorecard I never even thought about keeping.

So, my new life is opening up...I just have to put on my big-girl boots and meet it boldly. I'm doing the best I can.

Ancaire, you are so brave and strong! I am so glad that you were able to secure a future. Take good care of yourself.

I think what you're experiencing is still the affair fog (you're right, this has gone very quickly!), and the blame that he *has* to put on you in order to live with what he has done. If it's not your fault, if you didn't cause this, then it would be his responsibility, and that would be hard to live with for him.

Keep us updated and stay safe.