The very first thing that is necessary to solving a problem is to first recognize that there is a problem. If one spouse refuses to believe that there even is a problem, I doubt much improvement is possible. It took me a very long time to get W to agree that we have a problem - I think the real temptation for the LD spouse is to believe that they do not have a problem (unless it is that WE are too demanding!). As you already know, this is the very FIRST thing that Michele's book says to the LD spouse - if your SPOUSE has a problem, YOU have a problem. So I think this is the first thing you need to concentrate on, unfortunately. He needs to see that a problem for ONE is a problem for BOTH, and that BOTH have a responsibility to do what is necessary to resolve it. The responsibility is to each other, and this is the whole thing that marriage is based on!
