So, a few updates, though nothing earth-shattering. My D is still moving forward. Finally (over 2 months later) got a counter-proposal from stbx's new L. I still have some financial stuff to figure out on my end, and I'm trying to stay calm about it all. It's hard. I find dealing with him to be very unpleasant. I find myself constantly questioning whether my reactions to things he says or does are reasonable. And I get conflicting advice. And that makes me wonder whether I am somehow holding on to a bit of a victim mentality in all of this. Am I wearing my "integrity" like a badge of honor instead of just going with the flow and being a "conscious uncoupler"?
The newest: He wants to introduce D5 to his gf. He's such a coward--the way he "told" me they were dating (finally) was, "I know you know who I'm dating." I guess I have a practical question-- aside from all the other emotional stuff pinging around in my head: Because our daughter was so small when H left me, (she was not even 3), we explained it to her that Daddy was going to live someplace else. We've never actually said the D word. Stbx has always been afraid to say it. (He said to me, "I don't see a married future for us," which I guess was his way of asking for a divorce.)
So, I'd appreciate some feedback on this very rough draft of a response:
"Sure, I bet D5 will like her a lot. I think it's time to be clear with D5, however, about the nature of our relationship. We have never officially told her that we are getting divorced, and if you are introducing your girlfriend into her life, I think it's important to clarify that for her. She doesn't bring it up much, but we know that she is very perceptive. I want her to feel comfortable speaking to us about this. And I realize we may not be on the same page about how to explain our divorce to her. If she asks why, I plan to say, "Daddy and I disagreed about many things, including whether or not to stay married. But we agree on one thing, and that is that we both love you very much." If she asks me further questions, I will answer as age-appropriately as possible while also staying true to my own values and beliefs."
Thoughts? I'm so appreciative of your feedback and support. Oh... and I'm going away for a few days next week! Woo hoo!
