First time poster-needs advice

[Zues126]

I caught up on your thread. You've been asking yourself a lot of good questions. Particularly about whether DB is a form of more control, or just another obsession.

I think for many of us we first start trying to DB as a form of control. Trying to force something we can't control makes us crazy, but we try. For some, when they discover that doesn't work they change their tune. They suddenly end things, find someone else, or resort to other desperate attempts at control. For others, we realize what it really means to surrender and accept what we have. If you read my first post on my thread you'll see this is hard and takes a while, but is doable. As I say, you may not be able to force the marriage you've always wanted, but you WILL be able to find the peace and fulfillment you always craved and was hoping that marriage would give you. Nothing beats the real thing.

I'd like to see you continue to post on both your thread and others. It's a 'good' obsession, for me it's practically my GAL activity. GAL to me is anything that you do that's healthy that helps you meet your emotional needs. This also leads to detachment, because once your emotional needs are all being met, H no longer looks like the yin to your yang, but rather a regular guy.

Hang in.