Yesterday's gone. Tomorrows not here... (3)

[otw]

Don't apologize for anything.

As for the break. I do it also.
But I do learn a lot about myself here. Yes it is hard because you feel like you are obsessing when you are here.

In regards to the past. Did you guys ever REALLY work in resolving issues after getting back together? I think that is a crucial part.

I hope I get the chance but I am scared of it

I would do nothing regarding serving papers. What I would do is just live life the way you want. Let things just play out. You don't need to jump into a relationship but you can go out and have a good time.

I know some people won't prob day that here but how do you know what you really want without exploring options? I am not saying have one night stands or physical relations at all but make friends.

Anyway just my thoughts.

[Thornton]

Hey Pin,

My WAW has fired me twice now and I know what you are talking about. Makes me wonder if I'm crazy to try and fix this only to be hurt again.

My advice - there's no rush. I think you'll know without a doubt when it's time to move on. If you are a little unsure, don't do anything.

[pinn]

Thanks Guys

In terms of working on things previously... I am not being completely fair there. We were much younger back then so we did not know any better honestly. Then we had a solid 5 year break before she decided to come back all in. The issues we experienced this time are not the same as before. This relationship was def better. She broke her leg about 9 months before BD and nothing seemed to be the same after that. She was house bond for a while and I think she became somewhat depressed.

But there is obviously something about me, about us that she does not like or gets tired of over time. I think it has to do with keeping that passion going which is embarrassing to say. This is one of the areas I have been learning about though.

Thanks again for the comments... they will keep me level headed for a bit longer.

[pinn]

man what a garbage night. I haven't felt like this probably since she moved out (6.5 moths ago!). We had a moderate snow storm, nothing major but I left work a bit early to clean up (takes about 2 hours). I had to skip the gym which I hate. Anyway, the whole time my mind was on WW. Half the time was me debating when to try and move things forward with divorce. The other half was spent thinking about the dreaming about me text from 2 weeks ago. That was a very selfish text I feel like. I want to tell her not to send me anything like that ever again. Her evil tentacles have penetrated deep inside my brain and play it like a fiddle. I hate it.

So I finish up and I sit on a snow bank for a minute and I look at my car. Then I picture her car next to it and both of us cleaning the cars off together, having fun, playing with the pup running around in the snow. Then I lost it for a bit, I cried.... cried pretty damn good. Haven't had something like that in a real long time. I don't know what the deal is. Is it that text messing with me? Is it me realizing that I am not strong enough to keep this up much longer? I don't know what it is. I think I have to sell this house.

I feel like I am living the movie ground hog day... every week is the same sh1t.... nothing new. I have to figure out how to get of this funk.

[roar]

Her evil tentacles have penetrated deep inside my brain and play it like a fiddle. I hate it.

I feel like I could have wrote that! Just saying hello, following your board. I agree with ground hogs day too...no end in sight, we just have to make the most of it right?

Maybe to get out of your funk, you could try something out of your comfort zone? I think I'll be taking up something I hate - running. I mean, I hate my situation so much that running actually doesn't sound so bad. LOL. Just an idea? It may turn out to be a good way to have some fun, meet new people.

[Thornton]

That's rough, Pinn. Maybe you just have some residual pain you are processing. Or maybe feeling a little nostalgic. Ride those feelings out, maybe they are trying to tell you something.

[otw]

i don't think we are ever going to not have some lingering pain. The key is moving through it quicker.

Pinn have you had any db coaching?

[pinn]

Thanks Roar. I am very active but everything is more or less in my comfort zone (I like to run!... might be time to sign up for a half marathon to get my self in gear!). There is a yoga/running group starting in a few weeks that I was invited to join with a bunch of people I do not really know. I probably should do that.

Thanks for the comments. Thortnon.. not sure what is going all tonight with those feelings. All I know is I was in good shape until that text.

Thanks for checking in OTW. I have not had any coaching but have been thinking about it lately.


I feel like I was in a much better spot emotionally 2 or 3 months ago. I would like to get back there.

[otw]

I would reccomend a couple. I think you would be surpris d at some of the different views on things than you get here. Everyone hears means well, but when you can sit the coaching you can give your whole story spoken not written. Then you can get more detailed guides for what you should maybe do.

I Come here and get a lot of help but sometimes I get caught up in other situations that are not mine and all advice doesn't cross over.

[Pax_luv]

Hi Pinn!
These feelings happen... And I know how easy it is to instantly go back to "that" place emotionally.... But the truth is... You are doing well. I know it's hel1, but you are!!!

Yes, go run! Just this weekend I signed up for a half in May in order to force myself to train. (leisure runs without purpose don't seem to interest me these days). I figure it also helps to prep for swimsuit season so it's a win-win! Plus I decided to crash my cousins disney cruise at the end of May--- I want to be the hot single lady on the boat full of families- I figured I could hang with Pluto! . Haha.
Hey we got to have fun on this roller coaster of life, right?!