He didn't tell me he was coming over( Just shows up) so he came and found us outside. Kids were running around playing, I was washing my car and dancing with music singing. We were having a great time. I don't even know how long he was watching us from the open sliding glass door before we saw him.
I had a bikini top, tank top, shorts so I know at the very least I looked good, I was going to wear my usual like hobo shirt and workout pants but wanted to feel like one of those hot girls on the tv commercials and I didn't even CARE if anyone saw me. I did it for me. I didn't think he would see me in it, I just wanted to make myself feel good.
He didn't talk much. He came outside for a little.. then went inside by himself(even though he came to visit the kids.) I told the kids to go inside and play with daddy while I finish up. He went into our room, in the dark, laid on the bed alone. I went in there and got a change of clothes. He offered to untie my top of my bikini and I said sure, thanks. Then I changed in the bathroom.(Boundaries! Usually I'd change in the room and not care.)
I LEFT him alone in there(usually I would go spend time with him, ask what is wrong, invade his bubble.) Went and made dinner. He came and got a drink of water then went back into the room to pout. I popped my head in, said there is left overs if you want any. I am putting them in the fridge and let it go.
He didn't want any. He made a comment about how I wear my certain bra a lot( I don't but I guess the last 3-4 times I have seen him I just happen to be wearing the black one) and I should go buy new bras and panties on my VS card and treat myself. Not too much or I have to use my half of the income taxes to pay it off.( WOAH before he said maybe 300-500$ now half is like 3500$ NO EXPECTATIONS over 300-500 but I would fall over if he gave me thousands.) I just smiled and nodded and went back to reading a book.
Eventually he is like alright daddy is going to go now to work(what he says to make the kids not cry when he leaves). My D5 said daddy you and mom aren't married anymore are you. You don't wear your ring and you are never home.(OMG SHE IS SMART.) He said of course we are baby, you are silly. We are still married. Daddy just works a lot. Mommy still has her ring on too see.( Grabs my hand and shows d5) I didn't say A WORD..sooo awkward. Then my S3 started to cry because he now associates daddy being home with me having to leave for the night. I was like stop baby,mommy is staying, promise.He stopped after that.
Wah looked CRUSHED today when he left. He told me he was going over to spend the night at a friends. I was like..ok He said I just want you to know where I am and where I am going. I said okay, Have fun! He walked over and put his arms open for a hug. I gave him a hug, it was kinda sad today. I actually think he needed one after the kids and he just held me really tight with his head on my shoulder, and said he promised to be back before I need to go to class in the morning. I just said okay! Bye!
SUCCESS in my books. Maybe not the hug, but I felt like as a friend he needed one.
