B's 10-Week Bootcamp

[Bfice3]

Hello RosaLinda, its great to see your words again! I've missed being able to communicate with someone. My next exam was scheduled for this coming Friday (the 12th) but today I just re-scheduled it for March 1st because I haven't been really been focused on studying the past few weeks the way I should...at all.

What has been going on? Well...on the good news front I had set up a meeting with a new IC. She specializes in codependency and addiction. I had a 1 hour session with her this past Friday and started a 6 week group session the following morning on Saturday. She was actually really awesome, and I feel that talking with her is going to help provide some very valuable information for me to process about myself and help me dig deeper and focus on learning about who I am, what drives my actions, and how I can best utilize that moving forward.

That being said, my wife called me yesterday. I started off answering the phone thinking maybe she is calling about wanting to talk about 'us'. Lol. Wrong.

This was easily our worst interaction yet. I wish I had a recorder so that I could have captured everything that she was saying to me.

She started off wanting me to agree to letting her take the kids on a two week trip to New Orleans this summer, but that I should volunteer to give up my rights to the days that would be mine during that time frame. I said no. I told her she can take them on the trip absolutely, but that we should rearrange the days so that me and the kids aren't missing out on any of our time. Well, she didn't like that and completely blew up on me. She then went and told our oldest daughter that I had cancelled their trip, and that because of me doing so, my daughter would then be missing out on a concert that she had been planning to attend. Yep. So, now my daughter is crying in her room because of my wife, yet my wife is on the phone telling me that its all my fault. Amazing.

It got worse from there, with her just insulting me repeatedly by calling me all sorts of names...slacker, loser, etc. Her telling me that I should have to take a breathalyzer every time I come over to pick up the kids. And that because I am being 'difficult' and not getting along and being 'nice' that things were going to get 'harder' now. Again she told me that she will be seeking 100% custody and that I don't deserve to be able to have any custody. Sweet lady.

She said she was having her mom come back up and that they were going to be re-arranging some furniture and giving the spare bedroom to my daughter (11) who has been sharing a room with her brother (9). Then she let me know that she would be charging me $200 per month since our separation for a storage fee for keeping what's left of my 'stuff' there at the house.

I replied that if she does that, then I should charge her the going rate for 'before care' and 'after care' on her days of having the kids because I drop them off and pick them up from school everyday. Oh man...you should have heard her response. She got real quiet, and low voice...the anger just seething through the phone..."I...WILL...NEVER...GIVE...YOU...A...SINGLE...PENNY" and then just went into a tirade.

So, it went really well. On the positive side. 1.) I didn't spin out of control during this, I didn't lose my cool and have the rest of my day ruined. I was actually pretty calm. I did raise my voice a few times, but towards the end I actually found myself smiling at the sheer absurdity. 2.) And then I guess two is really more of a 1a...apparently I am detaching from her. Because I was able to remain pretty calm in the face of such a barrage. I didn't lose my cool, and just kept talking when necessary and letting her know that all I was doing was standing up and self-advocating for my kids to keep their father in their lives.

Yeah. So, that was my day yesterday.

I hope you're doing well RosaLinda. It was nice to see your responses and I will come back at some point and reply to some of the specific things you mentioned.

Gotta run, but I'll try to be back sooner rather than later.