I would suggest Letting GO, validating, and mostly just listening. nothing you are going to say is going to turn this around quickly.
Yes I think you are doing some wishful thinking and I have done that myself. Thinking that because my wife ate some popcorn I made that it was a sign that all was well.
She is confused and needs to figure out what she wants without your pursuit. I know this sounds counter intuitive to what you think is right, just remember that YES it is a 180 to be counter intuitive. She needs to feel the consequences of her actions, Final thought believe nothing she says and half of what she does!
