I think you're wife is gone. Maybe you don't want to hear that but it's true. You need to move on. You really do. Maybe someday your paths will cross again romantically but that's not going to happen now. Now, you need to get over it. I know it's hard, trust me I do, but it's the best thing for you to get over it.
In regard to custody of the children you need to fight for 50/50. She has no right to keep you from access to your own children.
She can come into 'our' marital home any time. I cannot legally deny her access. She can come and take what ever she likes. She currently has sole custody of our children and I am having to fight through the court for access to them. I know my M is over. My wife 'went' a long time ago when she started her affair. I have nothing. Nothing. All I hear is ' it will get better'. How ? Will it ? how ? will I get my life back ? Will I be a family again? I understand it might get to a point in the future where it is not as heart wrenching as it is right now but it will never ever be anything like a life I had or would want to be in. I will never trust again. I will never get back these waisted days staring at the walls, missing my wife and my boys. I will never see their faces first thing Christmas morning. They are growing up and I am being robbed of my fatherhood. Even if they become good men and we stay close, I have lost the most precious thing I had. How can you level with that ? How do you get past it ? I just can't say 'oh well never mind' and go out on a date or to a party. It hurts to the point of exhaustion. GAL just feels like I am bullshitting myself. there is no point doing it for her . To her, I am already gone. there is no point doing it for me because GAL is pretend. Getting a life...My family WAS my life.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
Keefa. Can you call a help line ? It seems that your life has come to a standstill but the future is unknown. Keep thinking of your boys and the fun and happiness your bring to their lives. Focus on them.
Please keep posting , this is such a tough ordeal and you will get through it
Positive thoughts heading your way Stay strong brother , Rd
I can relate with you. I'm alot like you. I make my partner and my kids my ENTIRE life. And when they are gone, I'm left with absolutely nothing to fall back on. This is called codependency and it's very painful.
Today has been very hard for me and I am running on fumes. No sleep combined with anxiety is enough to make someone crazy.
Your wife just moved out so this is all new to you. It's quite a shock to your system when you become physically seperated from your family. I'm going through it too.
I wish I knew the answer to help take this pain away. Hang in there buddy, I'm not doing well either.
I have some thoughts for you, but I'll save them for now. Just know that your life is worth more than what you think.
Set 3 small goals for today. I have found that accomplishing tasks, even minor, makes me feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. They can be: 1) Laugh once 2) Say hi to one stranger 3) Say thank you once
Please keep thinking of your boys. Yes, life is unfair and losing your M, W and boys seems like you've lost everything. You haven't. You need to be there for them and for yourself so that you see they are treated well. If not you, then who? Who will make,sure they grow into the men you would like them to be?
I truly hear and feel your pain. Sometimes I want to just crawl,in a hole and disappear but then I think of the damage I would be doing to my daughter. Not going to happen. I want to show her that even though life is tough that you can overcome adversity if you have perseverance and patience.
Stand tall and stay strong. Vaya con dios.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
I am trying my hardest to keep it together. I am seeing the docs this week. I've been sent home from work and will have a nice cold, empty, lifeless, stripped, empty shell of a house that was once a warm home where light sabre battles took place, or competitions on the wii or bikes going up and down outside. I'd come home, take them upstairs for baths, tickles and stories while W cleared up and had some peace. I would listen to their day at school, watch the Simpsons together in bed and get their uniforms ready for the next day. Then sit down with the W with a cuppa and a chat. Was this all a sham ? It must have been. It must have been so false yet I didn't see it. How does someone go through many IVF's, have 2 children then walk away without batting an eyelid ? it is beyond my comprehension. It is now 7 months since ilybinilwy and I feel like I am going backwards. Things are worse now than ever. how much more of this is there to endure before it eases ? days ? months ? years ? Staying strong for my boys when I see them is easy. I want them to see me as they know me. Where do I find the coping mechanism ? How do I find anymore strength when I am alone ? What do others do to cope ? I am struggling. I know I am struggling.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
Sometimes you just keep breathing, that's all you can do. I'm sorry, keefa, I know it's just so difficult.
When you're alone, maybe you can read DR again, or watch a movie to distract you, or sometimes just cry until it stops. Just breathe and keep going on. For your boys, if nothing else right now. Everyone says it gets better. Sometimes better doesn't seem like enough, but then I guess it eventually gets better than that.
Breathe.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I've eaten first thing since Thursday. I've slept a couple of hours on the sofa and I've had a shower. I've not cried for a few hours now except some tears when I spoke to my boys on the phone. I cannot get a handle on all of this still. 10 months ago I thought we were happy. I read some old texts from then and we seemed so close and life seemed good for her. I don't understand what I have done that is so bad, so wrong, that it warrants what has happened. I just don't get it. I'm going to go back to work tomorrow. Solicitors next week to petition for access to my boys. I think I have taken a small step. Bank account empty. Credit card maxed. Bills mounting up. Nowhere to move to once house sells. Getting better is never going to be enough. Either something monumental happens or I accept this is how my life will be until another change is forced on me. I cannot think in positives, I simply can't find any.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
