Deciding Whether to Separate

[brutus3]

I posted here earlier regarding my situation with my wife:
above.

She has wanted to separate for a few months now. Basically, she thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

I thought our Florida trip would bring us closer but it didn't. When we got home, she insisted we separate. I did the math, spoke to an attorney, and she and I drew up a rough separation agreement. We were avoiding each other pretty much all of the time and it was getting very uncomfortable. I felt like I was loosing my mind. I found a 2 bedroom house to rent that's affordable, which is rare in our community. Housing is very tough to come by in our area so I got VERY LUCKY. So I started packing...

Around this time, I was suspecting she was seeing someone else. She was texting constantly and more than usual, which is a lot under normal circumstances. Her texting was driving me nuts. I ran into her male friend/client that she likes to text with at the store and he gave me and my daughter a funny look. My hackles went up.

I know I'm not supposed to snoop but my wife left her computer logged in at work and I found out that she was setting up dates with that guy just a few days ago. However, she was telling me she was going to the gym and hanging out with a female co-worker. I didn't say anything, just quietly kept packing (with more gusto) and got the go ahead from the rental agent to move in early. I did.

I got moved in and unpacked. I was pretty detached from her at this point and feeling great about things. About a week later, she stopped to pick up our daughter and she asked if the 3 of us could grab a bite to eat at one of the pubs. Unfortunately, I accepted her invitation and I had a very dark couple of days after that. I even drunk texted her "boyfriend" which was stupid and I texted her too, saying I loved her. Very stupid and my self-confidence crashed. This was a huge mistake and it took a few days to recover from that. Lesson learned. I told her I couldn't be her "best friend", like she wanted. I needed to set some boundaries, as much as it hurts.

So anyway, I've been healing from my last mistake and I'm feeling good again. I've been in my place a couple of weeks. Although I hurt and I need a good cry about once a day, I know I'll be okay just as long as I keep my cool. I'm less stressed out when contact is sparse between me and my wife. I keep it brief verbally and with texts. I feel better about myself and my confidence builds when I'm in this mode.

I figure this is the only way I can win her back. If I back off from her, I'm able to build myself up again into the man I was when we met. She may never come back but I know I'll be okay. If she hasn't done so already, she'll probably sleep with other people. I really don't have any interest in that, at least for now. I finished divorce busting and I'm more convinced that I did the right thing for ME, by moving out. It's what I NEED. Plus, I don't have to listen to her stupid phone going off every 30 seconds. Every time I heard that "ding", my blood pressure would skyrocket.

I need to focus on my daughter and myself now. By obsessing over what my wife was doing while I was living with her, I couldn't focus on what was important. I need to focus on the people that love me now and the new relationships I'll be able to form.