New beginnings!

[Di-mond]

Hi V,

Hmm, what holds me back socially. Last time I was single I went completely off the rails. Partied hard, dated like crazy, socialized my butt off. I made lots and lots of new friends. Then I met my H and they all kind of fell away, when I wasn't the life of the party anymore. I was disappointed with these so called friends. I think sometimes I really don't want to make more friends because I don't trust anyone. Actually, maybe I don't trust myself to be a good judge of character in choosing friends. My BFF excluded from that....we have known each other since we were teens.

I'm a homebody, even more so now. I feel like I'm nesting. I actually like being at home now.

Yes, I was always very shy. When I moved to Canada as a teen I didn't speak any English. I spent a lot of time listening and observing to learn. I still prefer being in the background observing, but I do catch everything that is going on around me.

I have worked hard on being more sociable and I do know I can do it. I've done it before, even taking leadership roles at work and for extracurricular activities. I captained my own Dragonboat team with 25 team members and did quite well at it. Right now I don't want to do it. I'm tired of being nice and saying the right things to the right people. Sometimes I miss interaction with others, but most of the time I'm really ok being alone. I have my family, my BFF and my animals. I talk a lot to my animals. They have such quirky and different personalities and right now they are the perfect test subjects to practice for my Veterinary Terminology course. Speaking of...I got 60/60 on my first assignment for that course. Woohoo!

I still haven't upped my exercise plan, but have all the forms here to fill out for the gym membership. Kind of side tracked with school and kid drama.

My son and his gf are having a horrible time. I think they should split up before things escalate, but financially she and her 5 year old are not able to survive without my sons help. They have only been living together for less than 4 months and they fight like crazy. Some days I would like to take their IPhones and smash them up. They never leave eachother alone, always texting and calling. I've been using DB language on her, telling her to work on herself and her happiness and being self sufficient and able to take care of herself and her son. She has really poor self esteem. For the most part I tell them to keep me out of it.