Doing better....Oh wait

[otw]

So here we go with the update for the weekend...

W called me friday afternoon to go over details for the evening. WE agreed to eat together before the monster truck show and agreed on times to leave etc..

I arrived at her house to get her and the kids and we were on our way. We went to dinner and everything was ok, made sure to focus mainly on kids. I feel the entire evening at dinner and on the rides I was the one to make small talk. Asking her about family etc.., she really didnt ask me much but was engaged in conversation.

We went to the show and everyone had a good time. Her and I shared a good amount of looks at each other during the event about what was going on and good smiles.

Felt strange watching her take pictures with the kids like I wasnt there, so I took some of my own!
Everything was going fine and as I was sitting there I got a tap on y shoulder. A woman behind me recognized me from high school as was confirming it was me. I chatted for a quick minute with her, it was loud and I had considered introducing W, but she was on the the other side of the kids and really didnt quite want to! At this point it seemed to me she acted a bit different for a minute. S5 was leaning on my and my arm was on the back of the chairs and D7 had her head on my arm. W demeanor was different she sat leaning away fro us and seemed a bit annoyed. This could be all in my mind, but who knows.
On the way home kids both fell asleep, I continued to make talk. After BD she said that she felt like she was pulling teeth to get me to talk. I know she probably meant on a deeper level, but i figured I should be engaged with her.

Got back to her house and we carried the kids in. I helped get them in bed. Of course they wanted me to stay. I somehow got myself ready to leave. I was getting shoes on and W made sure she stayed busy. She thanked me for driving and I told her I would see them at party tomorrow. I headed home.

At home I gave her a text about some party supplies and we exchanged a few messages. She actually sent one back thanking me for paying for dinner and she didnt expect me to pay for her and would give me money. Of course I said it was not necessary.

Woke up next day and S5 wanted something for breakfast the day before we didnt have time for with school, so I called to see if they were awake and took them the breakfast. Dropped it quickly and got on my way to get ready for the party. I left the house while W was distracted doing something and didnt say goodbye.

Party was interesting. Her mom, dad, stepmom, stepsister and plenty of friends of hers and mine were there with husbands and wives. Some friends i havent seen since she moved out. I could see the awkwardness for them, but i had the game face on and acted like nothing was different.

I ran around playing with the kids and so did her father. He greeted me by saying hello Son like he always does. We really get a long well.
Wife and i worked well together as a team for the party. everyone had a great time.

As i am putting on my game face the whole day and inside i was hurting, her mother comes up to me and pokes me in the side telling me how much she misses me. Ugh.

Then i see my mother and her dad and stepmom talking and later find out they were all talking about how they can not understand this.
As party was winding down everyone was gone except me kids, W and her mom and moms friend.
W's mom starts getting in on her about how she is too thin. She really has gotten a little too thin and the outfit she was wearing showed it badly. MIL looks over at me while she is saying this and says dont you agree?!. I just sat there with wide eyes like you are not getting me in the middle of this.

We all headed out and MIL friend is telling me that they miss me so much. I wanted to tell these people while it feels nice to know it is stabbing me in the heart.

So loading kids up with W and they start begging me to come over. I am trying to avoid the conversation, but D7 being very outspoken decides to take the conversation to W. W says if he wants to that is fine. Now of course i wanted to, but i felt intrusive. So i said i will come over in about an hour after i do some things and maybe we can eat dinner. W agreed.

I headed over and we decided to pick up from a restaurant and eat at her house. Dinner was interesting. We somehow got on topics f all the funny things kids did when they were babies and turned into story time. This was good to remember good times. Kids loved it. As dinner was winding down D7 starts bout how she wants me to have a sleepover and watch a movie. W told her she could watch netflix in bed for a while. D7 immediately said no she wanted us to all watch a movie on the couch and she wanted me and W to start getting back together! I didnt know what to say and didnt look at W.

That little girl is the best thing in the world!

The topic quickly turned to getting them baths etc..

I bathed them, got them in bed and then started getting ready to leave. W met me at the door and we chatted about a couple things not related to anything. I made sure to be soft talking and made eye contact. Then headed out.

Had to do switch next day and of course i wanted more time all together but i also figured i shouldnt press right now. I told W i was possibly taking kids to a trampoline park and she was welcome to watch them. It seemed she considered for a while asking about times. Later I let know when i would come get them and them times i was thinking. I believe she had plans later as she said she prob wouldnt go. Of course i was a touch disappointed, but did not let that show.

Anyway, that is about it.

Our interactions are definitely different now. We both answer the phone when the other calls to talk to the kids and we say a few word to each other. Before we would just let the kids answer. We spent a lot of time together, so now I feel i need to ease up for a while and see what happens. I am not sure about the amount of talking to her i should do, but i want to see what i get from her for now and then assess.

the issue is that it seems when i give a little more effort then she will as well. But i know i need her to process the weekend on her own and see what happens.

I am sure there is a little more i am forgetting but this was way to long a while ago!!