She can come into 'our' marital home any time. I cannot legally deny her access. She can come and take what ever she likes. She currently has sole custody of our children and I am having to fight through the court for access to them. I know my M is over. My wife 'went' a long time ago when she started her affair. I have nothing. Nothing. All I hear is ' it will get better'. How ? Will it ? how ? will I get my life back ? Will I be a family again? I understand it might get to a point in the future where it is not as heart wrenching as it is right now but it will never ever be anything like a life I had or would want to be in. I will never trust again. I will never get back these waisted days staring at the walls, missing my wife and my boys. I will never see their faces first thing Christmas morning. They are growing up and I am being robbed of my fatherhood. Even if they become good men and we stay close, I have lost the most precious thing I had. How can you level with that ? How do you get past it ? I just can't say 'oh well never mind' and go out on a date or to a party. It hurts to the point of exhaustion. GAL just feels like I am bullshitting myself. there is no point doing it for her . To her, I am already gone. there is no point doing it for me because GAL is pretend. Getting a life...My family WAS my life.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
