For me, an affair is a dealbreaker. If there was an affair, Divorce would not be hard as for all purposes, we are already divorced just without the freedom to date others. If there was an affair, I am dysfunctional enough to move on and hate him for the rest of my life.
Yes, the cards for me have been lined up right but I struggle because thinking of the cards prevents me from doing what I want to do.
Julie, I love you for saying this, about the affair. I feel the same way if my H has a PA, although that doesn't seem to be the way for most DB'ers. I just know my limits and a PA would be it. But on the other hand, there is the very unsettling feeling that, for me at least, I may never know and I have to make my decisions based on that. I am choosing to believe him and I just know that if/when the fact of a PA comes to light I will walk away and everyone on here will be shaking their heads at my naivety.
