My W has tried to suck me into more arguments because that is the main reason she says she wants out of this relationship, that there were too many arguments. Therefore I have made a real effort to keep tension out of the air, especially on my side. I have (for the most part) kept a calm and measured demeanor. When she has got hostile and angry, I now stop and walk away telling her that we can talk again when she had calmed down or stay quiet and wait it out. She has thrown down real good ones at me lately. I haven't always gone down the full validation route as some things are too wrong to allow. A recent one was that 8 years ago she believes I tried to intentionally burn her because I turned the tap in the kitchen on while she was in the shower. I didn't think she was in the shower at the time, just sounded like it was running with no one in it. I will question her thinking now because if she really felt like that about me I doubt she would have stayed with me for 8 more years, had 2 kids with me and be comfortable leaving the children with me alone and taking them on vacation alone.
In terms of the housework etc, I have always done a fair share but I have been doing more, primarily because I have found my pride in me again and I like a tidy home, something that had slipped and I had lost about myself. Also, she plans to move out at the end of the month, I am taking pride in the house I built.
I think me initiating the invite for friends over, having something to serve them ahead of time is different for her as she would have been the one to invite before, but even then she didn't do it often.
