Hi Rich, one of the things that helped me is something Chuck told me. The OM is not who we should concern ourselves with, he is like traffic, the weather, something out of our control. I have been guilty of getting to focused and wondering what my wife sees in him, I had met him on a couple of occasions last year. He bored the life out of me each time... He is everything my wife told she would never want to be with.... I can't say the thought has completly gone away yet but I am believing in Chucks words. We can control ourselves and make ourselves better men and better fathers, if the situation is there. Something my wife always told me is how warm a feeling she got when she saw me play with my kids and we are having fun.
For me, it's been about finding my confidence and pride in myself, who I was before, not trying to change for someone else. I have tried to do that for to long, failed and ended up loosing track of who I was and the great person I was and will be again.
I had plans for this year to do things with my wife, places I wanted to visit. If she doesn't want to join, I am going to do them anyway.
One thing I did, and maybe people will disagree but it's hard to know what is right and wrong in this situation. A couple of days ago, I went to her, shook her hand and said thank you for waking me up, that she gave up on me too soon. I then left her and went to the gym. It helped give me a sense of letting go and one thing Sandi2 said that stuck with me is she needs to feel a loss, that the first thing she can feel the loss is of her husband.
It may not be right for everybody but it did help me in a sense, that I can be on my own if necessary, that this year can be good no matter what. I still have my struggles and difficult moments and do feel that my family all together would make the year even better but it can be great anyway.
