I've been trying to implement Sandis rules for the last week , and my wife seems to be getting irritable and more distant. Is this normal?
I doubt it is your application of the rules that's causing her reaction. More likely, it is b/c of resentment that has built up for an extended amount of time. If enough resentment exist, it is almost impossible for the LBH to do anything that is going to get a positive response from the W. that doesn't mean you are currently failing in your attempts of applying the rules, it just means that in her mindset she is through with you, the M, and everything related. She feels completely done, and a few days f you applying the rules are not going to switch her back.
I don't think the screaming match was the sole action that instigated your W's decision to want out of the M. It may have been the final straw. The pattern of the WW or WAW (as described by MWD) is to carry negative feelings for a long time before she acts on it. From what you have said about the finances, I would guess that she's been planning to leave for a while now.
Most H's want to see immediate positive results to whatever he considers as him trying to make things better. However, it very seldom works out that way, b/c of the negative mindset of the W and the time it took to get there. Am I saying it is hopeless? Not at all. I am saying it took time for your M to reach this point, and it will take time to repair and improve things.
You start with the one person you can control.........YOU. Look where you need to make life long changes to be a better man. Not just gimmic to get her back, but to become a better man. That is the only thing that's going to save you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
