Time for a new direction

[mleigh4]

Ugh. I woke up from a terrible dream of H showing up to get something. So I asked him, are you taking the rest of your things? He said no and took something of mine. He had total shark eyes, a blank expression and would not look at me. I lost it and started beating on him, so much anger flowing out of me. I woke up and felt drained!

I then checked my email and received a lovely note from MIL. A very fake sorry, she didn't know it would be a problem, his bangs needed trimming, and upset that I would threaten taking away Grammy day because she trimmed his bangs. She felt it was all a bit much and added that she was sure H is fine with it.

I took my time this morning with my response, knowing H may end up seeing it. I was very clear that this is not the first time this has happened, that she knows I am not ok with it. I told her I appreciate her trying to help but some things are for the parents to decide. When my son does not want his hair cut, it is not up to her to decide he does. I said I have worked hard to build a whole new life for S and I, in spite of having the rug pulled out from under us, in spite of not knowing our future, in spite of H emotional issues, we have come out thriving. I suggested she step back and let her son be the amazing dad he is by letting him handle these types of things. I told her interfering and causing friction does not help. I finished with saying that I would love to accept Grammy day just being about her spending time with her grandson, and that it is great, as long as she can simply just enjoy her time with him and stop playing parent.

It actually felt good to get some stuff off my chest with her.

Makes me wonder though, I can't get along with my own mother or my mother in law, is it me???

Icky feelings in me this morning, it's time to enjoy the sunshine and shake them off!