Great to hear from you both. GB - you're always welcome - never a hijack! I apologize for not responding sooner. D4 brought home norovirus from school last week, and a few days later D7 got it and then finally me. Blech. Frankly - I've felt too wiped to string a sentence together. I'm so glad D4 is starting Kindergarten next year -as I recall that was when D7 stopped bringing home these toxic stomach viruses.
Anyway - Let's see here ...
Originally Posted By: Mozza
I'm intrigued and somewhat worried about this partial withdrawal from the world, this lack of connection. I can't really comment on it as it's not something I've experienced, nor read about.
Mozza- believe me when I say that my rational mind knows it's not good to withdraw from the world in general. I really think it's just sort of emotional fatigue. If it continues for an extended period, I will seek help - but it actually seems pretty normal to me after the year I've had.
Originally Posted By: Georgiabelle
I loved being in a committed relationship. Loved it. Loved being married. Even when the house was crazy. However, I have exactly zero desire to be in a R right now. No one is more shocked at that than me. Of course, everything is fluid and what is today may not be next Thursday. I can very honestly tell you it isn't fear. I'm not afraid to be hurt. I have hurt others and that possibility still exists. It's just that right now, I feel it is important to live a little, hang out with friends, and focus on my kids. I have no idea what Raliced feels, however, I think that is a legit feeling. Maybe I am an anomaly:)
No - You're not an anomaly. That's pretty close to how I feel. I too loved being married, but have zero interest in exploring relationships. Sure, I miss sex. And I still occasionally wonder how I could ever trust anyone again, but mostly it just doesn't feel like it would fit in my life right now. There was a time in my early twenties when life was about exploring the world, then later there was a focus on career, then I met XH and it was time to establish my own family, and now it just feels like time to begin focusing on career again, taking care of my mother, becoming a part of my community and continuing to build a life and home for my children. Maybe someday I will feel differently.
I mostly mention the lack of interest in dating in my updates - because for so many on these boards, it seems like a normal and natural step towards moving on, and I guess, like Georgiabelle, that makes me feel like an anomaly sometimes.
Originally Posted By: Mozza
I'm surprised you're interested in the parenting choices of your XH. I mean, it's normal that you'd be interested in the impact it has on your kids (kudos for making him take D4 with D7), but you seem more puzzled about the impact it has on him, like the little time he spends with them. Maybe you still want to think he's an idiot? You want to be reassured that he's making bad choices, so that would explain the D? In any case, it tells me that you may have a few more steps towards indifference towards him.
Mozza - I would never claim complete indifference. He's the father of my children and his choices affect them. I've always felt fairly fortunate because I've read so many stories on this site about people who long for their WAS. I can honestly say that when the extent of his cheating was revealed - something snapped in me and my attempts at DBing have always been more about trying to preserve my family rather than some sort of lingering attraction to XH. I comment on his parenting choices, because for better or worse, I like to know what I am up against. That's the planner in me. I know that's basically wanting to have expectations. I should say that IRL, most of the people I know, predict that he will gradually fade from the girls lives. I don't know why everyone seems so certain of that - but it's a pretty constant theme. That would be terrible for them, and I'm pretty alert to signs of it happening. I'll spare you the details, but he spends a lot of time trying to convince them what a great guy he is. He seems to want their good opinion so badly - and that seems like it will lead to a rocky road at some point.
Anyway - I always have to pepper my updates with home maintenance updates! The pop up drains in both bathrooms are broken. Sigh. Looks like a visit to Home Depot and a good time watching some "how to" videos while the Super Bowl is on.
