The begining of the rest of my new life? (3)

[Ripe]

So, In which stage of LBS am I?
This question was triggered by an emotion I found inside me the last few days.
I am refering to the thread about the stages of the LBS:
I think am cycling between Resentment, Acceptance and, I hope, Self-growth.
I have definitely accepted that my marriage is over and there is no way back to it.
Sometimes I even strongly feel that I will be OK without STBXW.
However, I still have some resentment towards STBXW for what she did to our family, for the separation, for the way she mentions the kids will be all right.
But in the last few days I have been feeling something different.
I am angry, but a different kind of anger, an anger directed toward me, not STBXW.
It is an anger that drinks from my poor judgment: how could I have chosen such a weak creature?
Of course she always carried inside herself the seeds of her weakness, of her loose commitment to the marriage vows, even when, smiling in her white dress, she pronounced them at the church. It was just a matter of time for the tempest to come and for STBXW to consider that this shelter was not good enough.
What a waste of time. I could now be with someone who would really want to work on the marriage.
Nevertheless, one might say: but you, Ripe, were flawed. Your flaws where the ones which caused the marital crisis. No woman would be willing to stay with such a poor, weak, incomplete, introverted, piece of a man. Without this crisis you would still be the old you. Therefore, this crisis and separation had to happen in order for you to be willing to improve yourself. So thank your STBXW instead.
Yes, I want to reply, yes, now I am new but soon to be divorced.