Hope is not a Strategy- It looks done

[rich4j]

I found out gradually. It was an EA that turned physical at some point. It hurts like nothing else. And Saturday nights are the worst. I can't help but think of them together. It's a physical pain in my heart, almost what I imagine a heart attack to be. And it tortures me, like it is right now.

NY Gal----> I feel your pain as I think about it even though nothing has been confirmed and I have a phsyical pain in my heart...like a heart attack and it is painful


I am on the fence to continue to push on this button or not and get confirmation as I know the hurt will kill but it will also bring some clarity to me. She won't admit it I think ever since she is more worried about the stigma with my friends/hers but will say the reason I did this was you pushed me there anyway.

We shall see

Its been a tough weekend as we have temporarily put a kind of and/off weekend schedule spending in the house and with the D. But I am getting to the point that I am not going to be onboard with this anymore. I won't be a prisoner in my own house and wiht my own daughter unless I have to legally.

This will be a fun conversation. I won't blend the potential affair and time with the D together or that will be a keg of dynamite.

Outwardly I did fine this weekend with my friends Gal'ing but inside my heart just wants all of us back together working on our relationship. I don't know how/when that light burns out....