Still don't know how to transfer previous post with phone, so it was labelled: Cheers to a new beginning.

Woke up happy and blessed. Maybe the sunshine has a lot to do with it or that I'm still in love with STBXH, and mainly because I can feel that God has my back! My guts feeling is telling me that everything will work out fine in the end.

Did a 180 with my kids today, I have bought on their behalf Valentine's present for their dad. We never used to celebrate it as we met later on in that month, so that's new for me. I really enjoyed letting the kids chose what they wanted for their dad, and there was no idea behind him (like trying to get him back). I did it because the kids wanted to and in a way I want him to know through his kids that he has stepped up as a father and he is doing more now with them than he ever did when we were together.

I know OW is still in the picture, now I don't hate her or think about her. I know why she fell in love with the kid's father as I geniouly believe that he is still a good man but his mum's death sent him on this destroying path.

I don't want to fight with him as he'll always be part of my life, and I'm starting to be the person I was when I met him: carin and loving. My relationship with my kids is improving, although at times they trigger me and the old me is back.
It seems that there is a shift in behaviour:STBXH behaves like I was a couple of years ago, while now I'm behaving more like who he was before his mum passed away.

I know I need to get myself strong before I can offer him any support if he ever returns. What makes me hope again is that STBXH still enters the property whereas he never did that with ex; he has accepted to look after kids while I go and see my parents and has made arrangement for them when he is working ( he could have nasty and said not my problem), when I ask him if he can help me out for stuff in the house he does it. Could it be guilt I don't know. He still hasn't introduce OW to kids, whereas I was introduce within 7 months when we first starting dating to his eldest child. They have been now together for 3 years. Youngest daughter tells me that they went to see a house which isn't where I we live and it's a good 20 minutes drive, and closer to his work. Youngest daughter also added that he isn't wearing necklace anymore when he is with them.both girls told me that when he is in his new house, I'll get invited for meal. Even if it never happens, at least it's nice of him to think this way as he never done that for his previous partner.

I'm moving on with my life, still hoping to R and also at the same time not putting my life on hold.

I believe that God has a plan for me and I'm letting him guide me :-)