I agree with both of the above posts rain. Confirming an A hurts more than anything.
When I found out it was before DB and I pushed hard. Begging, fighting, crying. Pick one of Sandi's rules and I did the opposite. It just made things worse. The hurt is still there, it confirmed to me that I was no longer married to the woman I met.
Snooping never brought anything to light that made me feel better. Knowing that there was is an A did give me more reason to be better for myself and kids.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
