V is for Vanilla 27

[Vanilla]

V,

I went to therapy today, and your kind description of sweet sadness came up. You know I cycle with her. She's involving V, maturing before my very eyes. Thank you for giving her a name. My therapist says I am integrating her very well.

I am pleased that our insights helped you Jellyb.

Maybe there is value in naming this part of self, this aspect of V that is suffering and unhappy, who is fearful and frightened and in the midst of reliving some terrifying and disempowering experiences.

Her name is Plain Vanilla.

This self is serving a purpose V, likely protection, maybe a releasing of fear from your body, the body remembers fear. Fear stores itself in body tissue, cellular memories, maybe this emotional experience is the release of toxins and pollutants, a letting go of fear.

Jellyb it's PTSD. And yes it's fear and anxiety. Severe abuse does this to some of us. It is a weakness.

I think maybe you would suggest that I thank this self for serving its purpose. For keeping you safe and now recognising that it is time to let it go.

My protector is Screaming Banshee. Plain Vanilla is timid and sad, frumpy and a wall flower. She is overweight colourless and somewhat withdrawn. Downtrodden. I look after her.

PP suggested a book to me recently by Caroline Myss Defy Gravity.

Thank you I down loaded but haven't read it.

I have only just started reading it, but it may provide you some relief to healing. I know you appreciate the the mind-body connection, Caroline talks of the mind-body- soul connection.

I am glad to see you post and share your pain V. We will love you through this, I swear.

Jellyxxx

Thank you Jellyb. I value the support.

V