I hope you don't mind if I stop by your place. It feels like we haven't really connected in a long time. I guess we are both drifting away from this place.
Life is moving on, wounds of loss and grief are healing and closing and scarring up nicely.
In saying that there is a huge lump of grief in my throat today.
I'm not sure what it is but it's there and it's overwhelming and there is no reason for it.
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed reading people's pain and troubles and seeing them fight so desperately to have a control and influence over their situation, that in all gods honest truth they have absolutely none. And they fight this fact.
Will the pain of this ever stop U. Not my pain. I am fully at ease with mine. But the people here their pain.
I am at loss to post on people's threads at the moment because it seems to me that to let go of the pain seems to them to let go of the love they have of their beloved. To let go of pain means giving up hope that they will have their lives back. And future, a family. Who wants to pop that bubble, but saying you know what walk away and live your life and it all might come back.
I want to say this is all just a moment in time. It ends all so quickly. Why are we all so scared of just being, afraid of having that conversation where we are vulnerable and openhearted.
Does the fear of the loss of the other, superseed the loss of the self in not fully honoring one's own truth, to provide oneself with release from the pain.
I am learning that expectation and over attachment to another person brings nothing but pain. But true love and connection without expectation and over attachment is divine.
I don't know U, some days I feel like the smallest child in the smallest boat on the biggest ocean, under the most expansive sky. I bob up and down in my little boat, wondering why. It makes me so sad at times. And yet I am in complete awe that we have this strange, odd experience that is life.
U, I didn't know who else to share this with. It is likely too much.
I hope your children are adoring you and I you finding some joy and love in other places too.
If you ever find I'm not around. I am easy enough to find on DB FB. Follow the Hobbit.
So much love for you. You have become a friend and I am happy for that.
