I have this from an email newsletter series I have been receiving:

Last time you heard Kurt’s story about how he overcame his wife’s affair and managed to get his marriage back over the course of a year.

If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend you go back and do that right now.

Today, we’re going to be looking at one thing in particular that Kurt did very well during his marriage’s recovery that you can apply to your marriage starting today.

What did he do?

He anticipated his wife’s forgiveness revolt.

WHAT IS FORGIVENESS REVOLT?

It’s exactly what it sounds like…

It’s when her response to feelings of forgiveness is to push away.
Basically, forgiveness revolt is what happens when your wife realizes that she LIKES the changes that you’re making, but some part of her is still resistant to giving the marriage another chance.

WHAT CAUSES FORGIVENESS REVOLT?

In Kurt’s story, you noticed that he said his wife felt “condemned” by his forgiveness.

She’d had an affair, and instead of pushing her away, he said, “It’s okay; I still forgive you and love you and want you.”

This threw a HUGE wrench in her plans.

She had planned on him wanting to leave the marriage, and when he didn’t, her reaction was to try and push him away even harder.

Why?

Because she’d rather fight you and push you away than question her own decision to leave.

Especially if your wife has had an affair, you should expect to see some serious forgiveness revolt. The whole reason she told herself it was okay to cheat was because in her mind, the marriage was already over anyways… When you show her that no, the marriage is still alive, she will push away.

Note: This lesson is taken directly from Chapter 15 of Manly Marriage Revival. But, I believe it’s a concept that EVERY husband needs to know about, even if you haven’t bought the course.

HOW TO HANDLE FORGIVENESS REVOLT

Again, Kurt is an excellent example of how you should handle forgiveness revolt.

It starts by recognizing your wife's motivation:

What your wife WANTS you to do is get frustrated.

She wants you to get weak.

She wants you to give her any reason to stick with her decision to leave.

So, you need to ignore the revolt. Don’t let it affect you.

Don’t give her what she wants, which is for you to start pushing away from the marriage.

Instead, keep doing what you’re doing. Stand strong. Keep showing her the type of husband you know she wants to be with.

Soon enough, this phase will pass and she’ll let herself become intrigued with the changes you’re making, just like we talked about a few emails ago.