Wife has filed for divorce

[excile101]

My wife and I have been more amicable towards each other over the last 2 days. She talks to me about the marriage more and feels that I wouldn't listen to her, preferring to withdraw and go into my own world and watch porn and become defensive rather than discuss our issues. She feels that she tried to reach out to me to do something but I never did and just buried my head in the sand.

I admit I was pulling away instead of validating her feelings but I just didn't hear her. I felt paralyzed and unable to act.This made me just dismiss our issues and become resentful of her.

Why could she not get through? Why did I become so complaicent? I was always fearful of loosing her and would write her letters telling her that I would change but never really did for long and things would just go back to how they were. She says that she had no option but to take drastic action and file for divorce.

Now I am left devastated and clinging on hoping to save the marriage. She doesn't see a future as we separated before but everything went back to how it was without us dealing with our problems and just carrying on as normal.

Is this a typical scenario? Am I a bad person unable to maintain a relationship because I cannot approach difficult emotional situations constructively? I feel like a failure but still have hope in the future.