What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

Thanks, Job, for stopping by. I always appreciate and value your input.

A really incredible day today.

Assistant went out with some other employees tonight and h asked me to go out with him. I agreed and went. We had some time to kill and hung out at the house for a little while.

Background reminder ... When h was here last time (during the holidays), he said we were done, going to get divorced, he was selling the company, etc ... his speech. He said he didn't think I belonged in the family picture. He even said he had been out with other women a couple of times. He was brutal and sent me into a tailspin that was really hard to recover from.

For a long time I thought selling the company and cutting that tie (what I saw as all we had left) was the best for both of us, but changed my mind since we make a good income from it and I kind of like my lifestyle and would like to continue building my savings so I'm not a burden to anyone in my later years.

Tonight, H did a total reversal and basically expressed the same sentiment. (He even told our accountant that he wanted to put those plans on the back burner!) I agreed with him and told him the business was good income for us and I thought it was dumb to consider giving that up at this point. So, for the time being, that is settled ... unless he does another 180.

He talked about how he had "changed" and had let go of the anger and asked if he had done anything hurtful to me while he's been here. Of course, I said no and to be honest he hasn't. He's been very easy to get along with and hasn't done or said anything hurtful in any way.

He mentioned, in general, some of my past "truth darts" and said I had said some pretty brutal things. I acknowledged that I had and gently pointed out that he had said some pretty hurtful things to me. He acknowledged that he had. I followed up by telling him that in spite of everything, I thought he was a good man. He responded by saying I was an amazing woman. Sounds like some silly "Oh yeah, well I'll see you and raise you" thing, but I'll take it!

He said he was content, but I didn't completely buy that based on some things that assistant said. She said he didn't want to stay where he is now, but I know that doesn't mean he wants to come home (although I hope that's where he ends up). It could just mean living somewhere else other than here or there.

Assistant also said I was the center of this world. I don't know if she was saying that to make me feel better or if she truly believes that based on what she has observed. I'll let that go until I see for myself, but it was kind of cool to hear.

Although he expressed, in a round about way, he wanted to continue the separate life thing, he said he considered us to be friends like we were in the beginning and he used the word "foundation" when talking about that. I thought that was an interesting choice of words but didn't comment. Most importantly, I didn't hear the D word!

It was so hard to bite my tongue, let him talk, and not jump on the positives I was hearing. But, I just kept telling myself to stand still, don't get enthusiastic, keep your expectations in check, keep the road smoothly paved and be patient.

I know he's not done and still has a long way to go. He can go right back into the fog and we can take a lot of giant steps backwards, but for the first time in a long time I actually feel somewhat hopeful. For the first time in a long time what came out of his mouth sounded well thought out and sensible.

I just have to remember that I'm still standing quietly backstage ... patiently waiting.